Turned on it's head

 If you've read my post on Ghosts (click here to read if you haven't) you will know that a decade ago (maybe a little less, maybe a little more) I went from being a believer of all things paranormal - ghosts, magic, reincarnation etc - to being a complete sceptic to it all, finding logic and reason to everything that is meant to be 'Other Worldy'. Life, cynicism, and opening myself up to other possibilities brought about this change, and since that time (other than a medium I saw who knew things I still cannot fathom how she knew them) I have believed in nothing. Oddly, during this non-believing time I also never encountered anything that could be classed as 'not of this world', aside from a pair of legs walking by my office door one day in the winter; logic put this down to reflection and light on glass so I was able to easily explain that. Did I see, hear, or experience nothing because I'd closed myself off to it? Did I see, hear or experience nothing because I'd finally been able to prove - to myself at least - that it was all a load of codswallop (I love that word!).

Then on Friday 13th October something happened - love that it was on such a date synonymous with millions around the world as being a day of 'Bad Luck'. I guess it had really started the day before in a way. I was on holiday, visiting the New England area of the USA with my family, when we had the good fortune to be invited to a Sound Bath being provided by a lady called Laura, of One Light Holistic Healing. She operates in a small town called Kingston in New Hampshire; she's not far from the border of Massachusetts and only an hours drive from Boston; that same hour from the Maine or Vermont borders will also get you to her, so if you're lucky enough to be in the area, or fancy a little trip out, I'd highly recommend trying to fit in a visit to her, and her incredible yurt.

I had heard of sound baths before during a conversation with my regular postie at work, but hadn't got a clue what they were all about, other than knowing bowls, drums and gongs were involved. Laura didn't use a drum, and I'm not sure how many sound bath healers do. As I said my knowledge is very limited. Laura greeted us upon arrival (there were four of us) and walked us down to her yurt. It's large enough 25/30 people could fit in quite easily and not be squished, however, the four of us were happy we were the only ones taking part. With a variety of comfy chairs, beanbags (and one hanging chair that my Mum happily commandeered). A wood burner (that I think may have been gas led; I'm not entirely sure) created a wonderfully warm atmosphere and we settled into our respective chairs/bags ready to begin. Laura talked us through what she was going to do - she has this wonderful soothing, calming and relaxing voice - before calling upon higher spirits and angels (something I was sceptical of) and we were off. Three of us managed to stay awake (although I have no idea how) whilst my Mum was asleep and perfectly relaxed within 15 minutes (she did come too every now-and-then before nodding back off again). 

I'm not a good enough orator to put into words how incredibly relaxing it was, how the different sounds affected me - the gong made me really, really angry (Laura explained to me why that happened and although it stuck with me for 24 hours, once the anger dissipated I felt wonderful) - and the singing bowl she used at the end, when she stood next to each of us individually, was a sound like no other and resonated throughout my whole body - all of us said the same with regards to it. Now whether it was because of the sounds Laura was creating, whether it was because I was so relaxed I almost fell asleep, or whether it was because I was in a spiritual setting, I don't know, but during the bath I heard rain falling heavily on the roof of the yurt (it was completely dry outside the whole time) and at one point I  had the most vivid vision of a giant white yak which stood next to me, before leaning over me, almost as though it was studying me. Of all the things I could have thought of - bear, moose (I still don't believe they are real, and I know I have more chance of seeing a real unicorn than a moose) or even a racoon (because of where we were and the local wildlife) I had a vision of a yak! I think I've only ever seen one yak in my whole 37 years (yes, I am 37 and you can't tell me otherwise) on this planet and that was in a TV show years ago. I may have come across some in books at different times, but I have never witnessed seeing a white one, yet there it was, huge, white and with a smell to it that reminded me of being around wet farm animals. It didn't strike me as a well-kept or very clean yak, and it had very long fur around it's face and hanging from it's body. I got the impression it was quite old and it had a most impressive set of horns. 

We were flying home the following day (Friday 13th) and had time-to-kill before heading to the airport so when Laura mentioned chakra mediation as something we could do to fill some time, we all jumped at the chance. Anything to calm the pre-flying nerves of a couple of us. Plus, being in Laura's company is naturally soothing - she is the complete opposite of those Psychic Vampires we often come into contact with. We arrived and again she walked us down to the yurt. Having struggled to get off the beanbag the previous day (being a fat weeble with dodgy knees getting on it in the first place was not my wisest idea) I chose one of her reclining chairs; they really are so very comfortable. This time she asked us to visualise different things as she worked her way through the chakras. Visualising (odd after what I've just said about the yak) is something I am absolutely shit at. It's part of the reason proper meditation has never worked for me. My brain can only see things when I sleep; trying to get me to visualise anything is like trying to get the Tasmanian Devil to work in slow-mo. It doesn't happen. However, I relaxed in my chair, listened to what she was saying and tried my hardest to see the colours she was saying we should see, hovering over the areas of our body where our chakra's are located. 

Laura started with the root chakra. I listened, tried to see and felt nothing; then this weird thing happened; as she got to the Sacral Chakra I felt my stomach lump begin to shift, to the point it felt as though it was getting angry (thankfully the lump is benign and has been named Fatima; I'm not happy she's taken residence inside my body but for the most part she keeps to herself). As Laura moved from the Sacral (which is just below where Fatima resides) and before she got to the Solar Plexus (slightly above Fatima's home) I felt Fatima twist, turn, and feel as though she was struggling to get out; a bit like the alien when it escapes from the body in the movie. She was not happy, yet by the time Laura got to the Heart Chakra she had calmed right down, and apart from a particularly hard sneeze a couple of weeks back that saw her scream out at me, she hasn't really played me up at all and until that point she'd been quite active since April. It was also when Laura got to the heart chakra that I began to hear chanting, which sounded as though it was coming from the other side of the room, or just outside. At that point (and because I am such a rebel) I opened my eyes to see if she had a gadget playing music and that's why I could hear chanting; I saw nothing, except a young boy staring the window opposite me. When I say young he was anywhere between 10 - 13 (it's very difficult to age kids). He didn't about, was just staring in taking in what these crazy people were up to in the room. Because of where Laura is based he wasn't a kid who'd just randomly walked by so I assumed he must belong to one of her neighbours. The chanting had also got louder; I still couldn't figure out where it was coming from. 

Closing my eyes again (because I shouldn't have had them opened, and because I didn't want to have a stare-out contest with the boy) Laura got to the Crown Chakra, and in that moment all the anger I had been feeling since the previous day - in fact I think all the anger I have ever felt throughout my life - seemed to float up out of body and disappear out there into the ether. By this point the chanting was crystal clear and again I opened my eyes wanting to see if any of the others in the room with me were wondering where the chanting was coming from. They all had their eyes closed, I could still so no reason for it, and the young boy was still standing outside the window looking in! I then caught Laura looking over to me so closed my eyes quickly (I wasn't sure if she might have told me off for not concentrating or doing my visualising) and when I opened them again the boy had gone. The chanting also just stopped abruptly (I assumed she had switched off whichever source she was using to play it) before she talked us all calmly out of our meditative state. 

The other three in the room all seemed to have similar experiences to each other yet all completely different to mine - I guess they can visualise colours! Chatting after I asked what music she had been playing as I'd found the chanting to be quite calming. She swore blind to me that she'd not played anything as it would have interfered with our ability to meditate properly; the others also told me they heard nothing except their own breathing and Laura's voice, going so far as to tell me I must have been having an hallucination. Now, they could have been winding me up for a laugh, however, they're not like that and wouldn't have taken something so serious and made fun of it, so for some reason I was the only one to hear the chanting. I was also the only one to see the boy and when I asked Laura who he was she looked at me shocked, and told me there are no older kids (other than her own who I know) living where she lives. As she was telling me this I heard the name "Nathaniel" shouted out, so I told her who he was. She still had no clue; I have no clue either, but there was definitely a boy staring through the window.

My logical brain told me that I'd obviously fallen asleep or was having some kind of daydream, yet a bigger part of my brain is telling me I need to research who this Nathaniel could have been, or at least where a boy of that age could have come from to have found her yurt and be standing outside. I checked the ground around the window and it hadn't been disturbed; I found this to be quite strange! I still wasn't convinced though!

Fast forward a couple of weeks and my niece had a birthday. I've promised to take her to the USA with me next time so she can visit Salem, MA (I love how I say "Next Time". It took my Grandad dying for me to be able to afford to go this time. The chances of me being able to raise/save enough money for there ever to be a next time minimal; in facts the odds are so high the bookies would make a killing)  a place she has always wanted to see; partly due to the movie Hocus Pocus (she's a huge fan) but also because the history of the Witch Trials fascinate her. Unlike her Mum who loved the paranormal and would get her tarot cards out whenever she could, my niece has never shown any interest in any of it, however, I figured if she wants to visit the place she needs to not only research and understand the history, she also needs to know about witches; their beliefs and how they live their lives, so I bought her three different presents (didn't really think about it being three until after I had handed them over to her!) Now, before I gave her the gifts we'd had quite a long chat about her, her life, and how she is struggling. She's been on antidepressants for years - totally justified and fully understandable with all she has had to deal with in her life - but I mentioned (as I have done many times before) I really think she needs to go for some kind of grief counselling. She lost her Nan (who she was exceptionally close to) and her Mum within 14 months of each other) then died herself several times just six months after her Mum due to a mistake her surgeon made when she had to have surgery for her Crohn's disease. The problems she's had since then have seen her have to deal with two more exceptionally long life saving surgeries. Just a week after her Mum died her stepfather had her removed from her family home so she's had to deal with homelessness as well. All of this before she'd turned 21. It would be a lot for someone in their 40's to deal with but at that age I can't even begin to imagine what has gone through her head (aside from what she has talked to me about). For years I have been trying to get her to go for grief counselling and she has cut me off and told me she doesn't need it. I can't force her into it, but something has happened in her life in the past couple of weeks which made me bring it up again, and last night we had a really in-depth chat about it, at which point she humoured me by telling me she would look into it - although, at that point I figured out she had no intention of doing so. 

With her kids in bed I handed over the gifts and she unwrapped them one-by-one. Now, I won't lie to you; when I bought them I had no clue what they consisted of. One was a book titled "Witch" - made sense, the other was a journal which I thought she could use to take notes for things she'd read in the book. It was the journal she opened first and with each page there was a task for the owner of the journal to partake in. As she read each one (and there are a lot) she kept looking at me in a way that said "wow, you really did your research when you picked this out for me as it works perfectly with my life and how things have been". If only I had been that clever. I was faced with a multitude of options and that one jumped out at me first. Was that because I liked the cover, the images I could see, or some kind of 'Divine Intervention"? One of the pages said to draw a card from an oracle deck, focus on it, then write how it makes you feel, and what it's interpretation is. I've never used oracle cards, I have no clue even now what you do with them or what they're for, but the 3rd gift I bought her (and I have no idea why because she has never showed any interest in any of it) was a pack of oracle cards. She opened those last, had a look at the instruction booklet, opened the packet holding them and was about to shuffle when card flew out of the pack - literally! That card? Mourning! 

Now, the me who has been around the past decade would say it's pure 'coincidence', that there was a 1/44 chance of pulling that specific card, however, after all I've experienced in the past month I am really beginning to question my non-belief status and wondering if maybe, just maybe, there actually is something more to this world than we know...