so you might want to make yourself a cuppa and get comfy - I have a cuppa myself, but am perched on the awful wooden stool thing I have at work, so am far from comfy, but it will have to do for now.
I am going to rant (ish). I may rant is what I should have said; what I'm really going to do is make a few observations and ask some questions (obviously I'm not expecting answers as I have no idea whether this post will be seen by anyone to begin with - so maybe I should have said I will be asking rhetorical questions). I did warn you it was going to be a long one. :)
I'm sure I've ranted about the narcissists and attention seekers that seem to be creeping into FB at an alarming rate, but just recently I've begun to notice it more among people I had never considered before. I've even perused the option that I could be one too - this blog in itself could also lend weight to me being one. However; what leads me back the other way (the way that I'm not and I'm really just some grumpy middle aged woman that likes to rant) is the fact that it doesn't bother me a single jot if nobody reads this. I don't sit and write this for anyone other than me (in fact for years I kept it private and all my posts were just drafts). All my life I've wanted to keep a diary (I know some people that write in one every night) but I've never been disciplined enough to keep one up together (or had the time) which is why I've never written the book I would dearly love to be able to write, but then blogging came along, and I realised if I was to start a blog in the way I would write a diary, I would be more inclined to spend time on it - and I do - so it's more for me to keep a track on what I've been up to, or how I've been feeling, than it is garnering attention from others. The only reason I ended up changing the settings so others could read it, is because one day I was talking about death, grieving, and how the pain never goes away, and I (in my narcissistic way) thought that maybe someone just beginning their grieving stage, feeling at their lowest, could possibly come across what I had to say, and they would be able to see that it does get easier (it never gets better) but you do reach a stage eventually where you are able to laugh again; to live again. I know when I reached my lowest point with my Dad (he laid the foundations for everyone that has followed) actually speaking to someone that had been through the various stages, helped me to deal with certain stages when they arrived. I never knew about the anger at the person that had died - had I known when I was going through it, that it was all part of one of the stages of grief, I may have not had such guilty thoughts and feelings for being so angry.
Anyway; I'm not really here for that (I just wanted to see if I was an attention seeking narcissist or not and I don't think I am - your opinion may differ).
What's got me on one this morning (and for the past few weeks) is attention seeking from others - or more their ignorance (yeah; I think that's what pisses me off more - ignorance).
I'm one of those people that will share a lot on fb (no; really, I do :) ) - I find it's a great way to keep in touch with people, and to catch up with those you may have lost touch with; I do have my phone connected to it most of the time, and I log on when I get to work. Not because I want the world to see I'm there, but because some days I can spend 10 or more hours in the shop on my own; having fb logged on gives me the feeling that I'm not totally alone - there is life inside the computer I can access at any time if the solitude at work is too much. It's an odd kind of place though, where I've certainly got to see people in a different way to how I thought they were. People I've known for years appear at times more angry, sad, pathetic or downright ignorant than I ever thought they were, or have experienced them in the real world. I post random stuff on my account - some of it gets responses; some of it doesn't, but one thing I have never, and will never do is post something just looking for attention. If I want interaction with people I'll either send them a private message or respond to something they've posted. This is where the really annoying (piss me off) side of fb and people come into play. I have some friends that will deliberately post things they know are going to wind people up the wrong way (religion and politics being particular faves of some). To be that desperate for attention when you have a family and big network of friends I find quite sad, and in a way I feel an odd sympathy for those that do, but at the same time I want to shake them and tell them if their life is that bad then change it.
Then there are those that have a crush on (or blatantly fancy someone on their fb) and will put up status posts related to that, in the hope the person will see it, realise it's directed at them and they'll fall madly in love and live happily ever after. WTF is that all about? To the person who's not on the receiving end, it's reads like desperation and is reminiscent of kids in the playground. As a grown up (adult) if you like someone, get off your arse and tell them. Don't play the cryptic route and then whine to friends that you seem to be getting nowhere, or that the person you like obviously doesn't like you. They may not even know your status is about them. If the amount of death that's surrounded me from people close to me that have died so young, has taught me anything, it's that you can't sit back and wait for life to come to you. At the end of the day, the worst thing that can happen is the person you desire doesn't look at you that way. If they are a decent person (or good friend to begin with) they will continue to be so and in time you will both laugh about it; if they're not and they get shitty about it, or start to blank you, then know what a lucky escape you've had because they're an obvious twat and move on; either way at least you'll know and won't waste a year or 2 of your life wondering, and then being gutted, if they meet someone and move on with their life.
Now the cryptic's (I actually got told by a friend once that I had been posting quite cryptic status updates - when I asked the friend why they hadn't posted at the time on the status to let me know it was (at which point I could have answered what it was all about - I really am that honest and transparent) so we could have moved on, they said they just thought I was messing about, but there are those that will post cryptic's and ignore all comments and questions from people; they really piss me off. If you don't want to answer people, don't post the bloody status in the first place. That is total attention seeking; ooh look at me, I'm going to get you to notice me, but once you do, I'll ignore you. If you don't want to share what's going on, then don't post anything. It really is pathetic - although not as bad as those that will reply to a cryptic comment question with the words "I'll PM you". FFS - I'd expect that of a child (maybe) but an adult? Again if you only want certain people to see select things, only share with those people. Don't share with everyone - unless of course you are seeking people's attention, at which point you become pathetic. I recently saw on my news feed someone posted about looking forward to going out that evening; half an hour later when it got no response they posted about how they were looking forward to going out and having a catch up. An hour later another post showed they were already out; that evening when they got back the next post was along the lines of "oh my; I wasn't expecting that". This was the post that finally got a response, with someone saying "ooh do share". There never was any sharing and the next day another status similar was posted. That is just so sad and ignorant as can be.
I think I've said before (I am getting on a bit so often repeat myself) but I have my fb set up so I can share with who I want; there are some things I'll share on there that I don't want my Mum or older relations to see (not because I'm keeping things hidden, but because I couldn't be doing with the 20 questions that will follow). There are grown up style status updates I may not want the kids to see (especially if I've used bad language - rare, but it happens) so they will be stopped from seeing such updates. As much as I can be an open book about things, I can also be very private and I choose what I share on fb and who I share it with, just as I choose who I share what with in real life (I know fb is real - sometimes - but you know what I mean?) Yes I share photo's of places I'm out and about with friends, and I'll tag myself at places with people (sometimes just so a certain group of people that know me don't get on at me to get out more, because they think I spend all my time at home watching tv or reading books - they think that because I don't share my life with them, no matter how much they think I do, or how well they think they know me - and believe me some of them think they know the whole, real me, when they haven't got a clue). I keep a lot of my life private and share with only select people. I can guarantee over 90% of people have no idea I had an odd 6 year part-time relationship with a guy in Andover, that only really ended about 18 months ago. When friends were telling me I needed to get out more, they didn't know I wasn't even at home. I'd laugh some mornings when I could see some status updates, with friends complaining about the traffic they were stuck in on their 4 or 5 mile journey to work; I could have been sat on the A303, or A34 for over an hour, worrying about whether I was going to make it to the shop in time to open up, and they had no clue (mind you I did try to stick to Friday and Saturday nights only if I was staying over), so while I'm being told I live my life over fb and people always know what I'm up to, they actually have no clue what I'm really doing - they only know what I want to share; however, I won't share unless I am willing to commit to that share 100% which is why it pisses me off when people play cryptic.
My last rant (this hasn't turned out to be quite as long as I thought it would, although there is still time for it too) is the ignorants that don't like it when people act the same way to them. The worst thing about a lot of messaging services these days, is that they will show you when someone has read the message that's been sent to them. This is the biggest piss me off thing going. Sometimes I will get a message and I'm at work; I may be busy, but not enough that I can't stop to read the message that's come through. in case it might be important or urgent (yes I know a phone call would signify urgent, but some of my friends may not have enough credit to call, but can access their messaging services without it affecting their phone balance). If I read it and it's not something that needs an immediate response I will pop it to the "to-do" list, once I have finished all my work jobs. I never fail to reply, but don't always do it immediately. I expect my friends if they don't reply to a message I send straight away don't do so because they've glanced, seen it's not important and will respond later. However; those same people that don't respond to me straight away, still expect me to do so to them the second I read the message. I've had it before where I've not replied so 15-30 minutes later another message has been sent asking if I received the message ok (they know I have because their service tells them I have). Luckily if I can see it's from the same person I don't bother to open and will read the 2nd message when I'm ready to respond to the first; in doing this though I've then had a whatsapp message bleep on my phone, from the same person asking if I got the 2 earlier messages on fb from them? In opening the whatsapp, they can then see I've read it, so if that's not replied to it's followed up with a text asking me why I'm ignoring them - I'm not; I'm just trying to run a business. These very same people are the ones that will read my message, and not reply (I have no problem with that) but what does piss me off is that will then spend the next 8 hours posting crap all over fb, and when they finally do reply they'll come out with some crap like "sorry I didn't reply earlier; I've been so busy I didn't have time to stop". NEVER lie to me; just tell me you didn't think it was urgent so got on with sharing your crap first. I can't stand people that lie when it's obvious they are lying.
I can't even begin to tell you what I think of those that get on their fb and share the status "I'm deleting my account after today for personal reasons" and who then either don't delete it after everyone has sent them comments asking why or not too (these are never responded to from the status poster) or a week later they will re-activate their account and their first status back will be "I'm back; did you miss me?" Nope - didn't even notice you had gone you attention seeking twat.
Will I share this post? No idea until I go to close it down (google does share it to my g+ page the minute I hit publish though, which is another thing that pee's me off because I then have to log that page on to delete the post, if I don't want everyone to read it and only want to share with a select few). I probably will share it, but not because I'm looking for attention; more for those that might see a part of themselves in it and realise their actions at times do affect others - mind you I guess a proper attention seeker or narcissist would never see themselves as one of the people I've ranted about to begin with, so therefore I once again make myself look like one - maybe I really am after all.